Dear Madeleine,
I recently joined a new company in a director role. It was a lateral move for me in an industry similar to the one I had been in. I was sad to leave my old job, but my partner got a huge promotion that required a move and I was not allowed to work remotely.
My challenge is that my predecessor apparently left on less than ideal terms. No one will tell me what happened, but it sounds like there may have been something shady going on. He did not treat people very well, from what I gather; but he led the group for a long time and I am getting the feeling that the damage runs deep.
In one-on-ones when I try to get people to tell me about themselves—their strengths, interests, career goals—it is like pulling teeth. Even when I ask open-ended questions I still get very short answers. When I talk about my plans for the group, I get a lot of eye rolling and wry nods. Although nobody says it, it seems that they’ve heard it all before.
What can I say to my team that will prove that I am nothing like the guy before me? How can I restore trust?
Clean Up Crew
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Dear Clean Up Crew,
There is nothing you can say; you can only behave in ways that build trust. The proof of the pudding, as they say, will be in the eating. It will take time (it always does) and a little longer than normal for your team because your people are gun-shy.
It might surprise you to learn research consistently shows that less than one-third of employees fully trust their manager or supervisor. It does make you wonder what the heck is going on out there. If you are interested in understanding how trust in one’s leader affects performance, here is some research.
Try not to spend too much time speculating about all the specific ways the guy who left betrayed your people. That will just make you look like a gossip, which is something you want to avoid. And in the end, it doesn’t matter what he did because you aren’t going to do any of those things. That is the good news for you: it sounds like there’s nowhere to go but up.
Here is a beautiful white paper that outlines the key things leaders can do to build trust among their people. For many, the concept of trust is philosophical or abstract, but our Trust Model makes it concrete and tangible.
Words are cheap. It is action that matters, so be sure never to over-promise and under-deliver. It can be hard to resist this when you’re trying to make a good impression, but in the end there is nothing worse. If you must make promises, make sure they are ones you can absolutely keep.
Don’t dwell on the past; there is nothing you can do to fix that. Just stay focused on the future. Be patient, Clean Up Crew. Keep showing up on time. Keep asking good questions and paying attention to the answers. Stay optimistic.
Love, Madeleine
About Ask Madeleine
Ask Madeleine is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.
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