Dear Madeleine,
I am a director for a global tech company. All the people at my level will have an opportunity soon to speak to the very top leaders in the company (about four levels above us) to share what we are working on. I can decline, but my boss has made it clear that it would be unwise in terms of my career growth.
The problem is that the prospect terrifies me. I literally stop being able to think straight at the mere thought of it. I have never been comfortable speaking in front of people but have gotten much better with my team, especially on video conference. This presentation will be live and it will be in my third language, which is not easy for me. (I used Google Translate to send you this.)
We have been given a template for a ten-minute presentation. It isn’t a complicated task but I am just not sure I can do it. I also know that if I don’t do it, I will hate myself. How can I make myself do this?
Terrified
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Dear Terrified,
I am sorry this opportunity is so scary for you, and I applaud your courage in making the effort to rise to the occasion. I have been in your position many times and have worked with many clients in the same boat. I will share with you some tips I have developed over decades.
There are three phases to getting through a high-stakes presentation.
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- Getting the content right
- Rehearsing (more than you think you need, and more than you want)
- Delivering it
Before You Begin
Block time on your calendar for the hours you will need to work on the content and rehearse. Set deadlines for the milestones: writing the speech out, having others review it, inviting others to rehearsals. Not blocking time may result in procrastination (which, research shows, can often be due to a desire to avoid unpleasant feelings) and scrambling at the last minute, which will not serve you at all. Sticking with your schedule will reduce your fear and ensure that you will not disappoint yourself.
Getting the Content Right
You already have a template, which should help you organize your thoughts. The questions to keep in mind as you flesh out what you will say are:
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- Who is in the audience and why are you speaking to them?
- How will you be introduced? Will someone introduce you, or will you introduce yourself? Either way, what do you want the audience to know about you? This answers the question Why should they listen to you? (Most speakers do not pay attention to this and are caught short. It can be a lost opportunity.)
- What does this audience already know that they can connect to this new information?
- What is the opportunity for you with this presentation? For the audience?
- What is your goal? As a result of what they have heard from you, what do you want/need the audience to think? Say? Do?
- What problem/risk exists that will be solved by what you propose?
- How will the world/organization/team be a better place if the audience chooses to think/say/do what you hope they will?
- Will there be time for questions? What questions do you anticipate, and how will you answer them?
- If they remember only one thing from your presentation, what do you want it to be?
Answering these questions will help you choose what to emphasize and what to leave out.
Once you have your content right, write out what you want to say in your native language and then translate it. If you have access to someone who has more facility with the language, get them to review your translation. If your boss is willing to give it a look, get feedback from them, too.
Rehearsing
The more you rehearse, the better off you will be. Read it aloud more than you think you need to—ten times is a decent rule of thumb. By then, you will have stopped making changes. If you are worried about remembering, you can make note cards to support rehearsing without reading your script. Use the notecards to run through it as many times as you can.
The only parts you will want to memorize word for word, until you can say them in your sleep, are your opening and closing sentences. The middle will almost certainly take care of itself.
If you can find a volunteer to help you do a live final run-through, do it. Stand up, wear what you are going to wear, use your slides. You may hate it, but there is no substitute for a dress rehearsal. I have done entire talks in front of my dogs. Practice speaking in a louder tone of voice than normal, so it doesn’t feel strange when you do it for the presentation. Speaking at a louder volume will help you notice any filler words or phrases that you might be using, such as “hmmm,” “so,” or “interestingly.” It is better to pause and use silence than to fill the space with filler words.
Rehearsing gets your brain and body used to the words, so no matter how terrified you are, your body will go ahead and do the job. Terror can make rehearsals very challenging, but once you get started, it will ease.
Delivering the Presentation
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- You will feel your nerves. That is inevitable. Nerves are normal. If you challenge yourself enough over time you will get used to them, but they may never go away.
- Before you begin, feel your feet on the ground. Literally. Feel how your feet feel against the soles of your shoes and how they rest on the ground. This gets you out of your head (and the doom loop of disaster scenarios), and into your body. I have never heard this kind of weird tip anywhere else. I got it from a famous actor’s biography and it has helped me and many others.
- When it is time to begin, take a deep breath and release it. Then take a small breath and launch in with your memorized opening.
- If you can see people, focus, if possible, on the ones who seem interested and are having a positive experience. Do not give in to the natural impulse to focus on people who are not paying attention or who seem hostile. I can tell you with 100% certainty that these people are not thinking what you think they are thinking, and in fact are not thinking about you at all. Ignore them.
- Speak loud enough for the person farthest away to hear you.
- It can feel odd to end a presentation, and it makes many speakers so uncomfortable that they keep talking. Don’t. That’s why you memorize your closing. When you have delivered your closing, ask for questions if that is an option, and if it isn’t, say “thank you” and go back to your seat.
- Notice that you are still alive. You have not died. You worked hard on your content, you prepared as if your life depended on it, you did not embarrass yourself, and you won’t be as terrified next time.
Finally, get help. My mentor used to say “anything worth doing is worth getting help with,” and it is true. Get your boss to weigh on your content. Get colleagues or friends to be your audience for rehearsals. If your company provides presentation coaching, get some. Don’t go it alone if there is a way not to.
If there is an opportunity to record your session, take it. Watching it will be its own new form of hell, but there is so much to learn and it will make you better for the future.
Being scared is normal. Having the courage to do what you want to do, despite the fear, is exceptional. You seem to know that you are exceptional, so you know what you need to do.
Love, Madeleine
About Ask Madeleine
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