Dear Madeleine,
To a person, everyone on my team underperforms. They don’t use the latest tools made available to us by our organization and they can’t meet a deadline to save their life. I do my own job as well as the jobs of a lot of my teammates. One of them recently asked me if I was trying to make them look bad. I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from saying, “You don’t need my help for that.” I just gave them a blank look and walked away.
I have tried talking to my friends about this, but they just laugh at me. Their attitude is more of “I’m so overloaded with work and it’s never good enough for my boss, so shut it.” I have thought about looking for a new job, but I don’t think exposing myself to a super high-pressure environment sounds like much fun either.
I thought for a while that I could fly under the radar just being myself, but now it’s clear that I am perceived as a threat. I can’t lower my standards or I will lose my mind, but I am not sure what else to do.
Do you have ideas for me?
Standout
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Dear Standout,
I’ll admit that you do sound a little arrogant. But you also sound like you are telling the truth about the gap between you and your colleagues. I’m a big fan of telling it like it is, so I can’t fault you. And I agree it’s a good thing to have a job that doesn’t ask more of you than you can give.
It might be useful to look at your situation through the two lenses.
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- Your long-term goals. The first lens is your ultimate objective: what are your goals for your work life other than to be a high performer?
- Your points of power. The other lens has you look at what kinds of power you have in this situation that you are not paying attention to.
Where do you want to be in two years, five years, or long term? This will inform how to play your cards now. In your current context, you see yourself as a racehorse among ponies. That may be just fine, and the key will be to find other ways to excel and achieve that don’t upset the apple cart in your work community. Or you may want to find other racehorses to run with, in which case you probably will have to look for another job. You may want to eventually manage other people, lead an entire department, and make a lot more money. Once you know where you are going, you can make better decisions about how you proceed.
Points of power is a concept we share in our Self Leadership program. Here is a great blog post by program author Susan Fowler: Don’t Underestimate Your Points of Power.
The very short version is that we all have five types of power:
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- Position power—having the title or authority to make certain decisions such as to hire or fire, to go or no-go, or to establish budgets
- Task power—having control over a task or job and doing it well
- Personal power—having interpersonal and leadership skills, passion, inspiration, or a positive personal vision of the future
- Relationship power—being connected or friendly with others
- Knowledge power—having relevant experience, expertise, or credentials
Standout, it sounds as if you are exercising a great deal of task power but are not aware of and developing the other kinds of power available to you. Once you know where you want to go with your job or career, you can choose to put some time and energy into increasing additional kinds of power.
It wouldn’t be a bad thing to get some input from your boss on how they see you and what might be possible for you. They may see your amazing qualities and agree to groom you for more challenging work assignments.
Instead of simply doing your colleagues’ jobs, you could spend time helping them and building trusting relationships with them. It’s possible they are feeling your judgment, so you may need to change that by finding things you admire and respect about them.
You might consider developing relationships with people outside your team by volunteering on committees at work. Or you could spend your extra time and energy deepening your expertise; for example, taking classes to earn an advanced degree or certification.
If you really want to stay where you are but need appropriate ways to excel, there are plenty of organizations out there looking for volunteers. Or you could start your own side hustle.
It is a beautiful thing to be competent and committed to excellence. I would never suggest that you try to dim your light or diminish yourself. It is also true that high performers can feel like a threat to people who are coasting, distracted, or simply less gifted, but usually only if they behave like arrogant jerks.
My experience working with very gifted high performers has shown me that the ones who put relationships first, highlight the gifts in others, and stay humble tend to build supportive fans who cheer them on rather than enemies who seek to tear them down. The best definition of humility comes from Ken Blanchard: “Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It means you think of yourself less.”
Use all of that brain power and energy to find the best in others and find ways to help them shine. You’ll be surprised at how magical it can be.
Love, Madeleine
About Madeleine
Madeleine Homan Blanchard is a master certified coach, author, speaker, and cofounder of Blanchard Coaching Services as well as a key facilitator of Blanchard’s Leadership Coach Certification course. Madeleine’s Advice for the Well Intentioned Manager is a regular Saturday feature for a very select group: well intentioned managers. Leadership is hard—and the more you care, the harder it gets. Join us here each week for insight, resources, and conversation.
Got a question for Madeleine? Email Madeleine and look for your response soon. Please be advised that although she will do her best, Madeleine cannot respond to each letter personally. Letters will be edited for clarity and length.
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